In most houses, you will find a canister of insect spray sitting on a shelf or in a cupboard, gathering dust. It was bought to protect you and your family from various pesky insects, and now sits hidden and out of the way, like a loaded gun. If you’re attacked in your own home, you’d hope you could trust in that gun to protect you. But what if it fails?
I was recently attacked in my home, and had the chance to put my cautionary canister of Raid Fly & Insect Killer (Fast Kill) to the test. I invite you to read my true story of home invasion so you can make sure you and your family are as safe as you think.
June 15th, 2010 – 7:04 PM. My bladder was telling me it needed release, so I got up and headed through to the bathroom. Absent-mindedly, I gently pressed my hand against the bathroom door and pushed it open. I thought it was like any other day. I thought I was safe. But I was wrong. As the door slowly swung open, a black blur fell past my peripheral vision to the floor, and landed with a smack. It was the intruder – a big white-tailed spider, and according to my memory, it was about half my size. I remember that as clearly as I recall his faint, high-pitched spider voice screaming “attaaaack!” as he fell.
After a moment of shock, my self defence mechanism kicked in, and realising I couldn’t take this intruder on my own, I ran out to grab my weapon – Raid Fly & Insect Killer (Fast Kill). Returning to the bathroom, I took aim, and sprayed heavily onto the creature.
Now as you may have heard, there are two sides to every story, and as it turned out, the spider and I were more similar than I thought. Just as I felt my actions were justified because I was protecting myself and my belongings, the spider was also simply trying to protect his family. Allow me to illustrate.
Before I moved into this apartment unit two years ago, this spider’s great grandfather probably ruled the roost. His family’s young probably crawled about in the wide open carpeted spaces, while the older spiders learned to hunt on the linoleum. However, over the years, a new oppressive force came into the picture, and Homo sapiens drove these arachnids into dark corners. Spider generations later, and this spider and his creepy crawly fellows live in hiding, too scared to come out during daylight hours when humans are about. His family sit still, waiting in darkness, and he watches his young slowly starve. His furry black spider wife sheds a tear as she realises their inevitable end. This is when this spider realises he needs to take action. His family has suffered long enough, and it’s up to him to end this oppression and take this home back for the ones he loves. With one last kiss to his spider wife and kids, he sharpens his fangs, and then goes to rest on top of the bathroom door in wait. Soon enough, the oppressive human walks in below him. He pounces, missing by inches, and lands on the floor. This mistake could cost him his life.
And that’s where this story of survival left off. Seeing our spider hero lying on the cold, hard linoleum, his hind legs broken from the fall, I spray him with my fine poisonous mist.
Thinking I’ve won, I turn to walk away, but something makes me stop. I look back to where my spider foe had fallen to find him scrawling towards me with alarming speed. This spider’s determination makes me think he has quite a lot riding on this battle. I casually give him one more quick spray to demonstrate my dominance over his species, but he still crawls along in desperation. I watch closely, fascinated by his efforts despite his impending doom.
Now you might have picked up that my weapon is Raid Fly & Insect Killer (Fast Kill) – the ‘fast kill’ bit suggesting a poison that works quickly to subdue its subject. I should also mention that the label down the side of the aerosol can depicts suitable targets: flies, mosquitoes, moths, cockroaches, ants, SPIDERS, silverfish, and fleas. However, 5 minutes later, and this spider is slowly but surely still crawling along trying to get me. I thought my Fast Kill weapon would have this spider dead in seconds, but instead it gave him enough time to call each and every one of his offspring to say a heartfelt goodbye, and as you know, spiders can have hundreds of offspring. Nevertheless, the spider did eventually meet his doom, his movements coming to a stop, and his legs folding up as he breathed his last breath. Then I left him there to make myself a sandwich.
So there you have it – my tale of basic survival and a vague review of Raid Fly & Insect Killer (Fast Kill). When used on spiders, you better hope you can distance yourself after spraying, because some little critters can be pretty determined to get you, and Fast Kill isn’t as fast to kill as you’d think. On the other hand, the other day, I used the same stuff against one of those giant outdoor flies that got stuck in my apartment, and after one spray, that big blowfly was spinning on its back, doing its breakdance of death before dying seconds later. So with that said, I give this product a standard three out of five stars. And if you look closely, you notice that those stars are actually little bugs. Wow, clever!
As for our fallen arachnid, his vast family of creepy crawlies are mourning their hero, but they do so in hiding. Yet later that night, when the oppressors are fast asleep, and the lights are out, those same creepy crawlies surround the tragic cadaver of their martyr, then drag his body away. In an ironic twist of fate, he was the biggest of their family, and will be big enough to feed them for a long time to come.